The Most Useful Communication Technique of All Time

Communication isn't about how much you say but whether each person grasps the other's perspective. If your partner is a reluctant talker, you may be unwittingly fueling his reticence. When he states his case, do you launch a counterattack? Criticize his reasoning? Get upset? If so, he may keep quiet for a reason.
The Most Useful Communication Technique of All Time is deceptively simple, but it works like magic. Next time your partner makes a point, take a moment to digest whatever he is saying. Then say it back to him.
Maybe not word for word, but you have to get the gist—and you can't stop trying until your partner agrees you've nailed it. Switch roles and repeat.
Once you're not so busy explaining yourself to someone who just doesn't get it, you can look for compromise.
Before I started grad school and officially drank the psychotherapy Kool-Aid, I used to mock this technique as a way to wrap gauze around discord: "I'm hearing that you're a pathetic jerk." "Well, I'm hearing that you're a total loser. " But once I tried it, I realized that "I'm hearing…" isn't just psychobabble.
It telegraphs the message "I'm listening to you because what you have to tell me is important." And that's the single most important thing couples can say to each other.
By Darby Saxbe

Starting a Money Conversation with Your Spouse: A Script for Couples

Money often causes couples to fight, but it doesn't have to—even during tough times. Use this script to start a conversation with your partner.First, keep in mind the best time to have any emotion-packed conversation is when both of you are not tired or hungry. Pick as calm a time as possible.

Here is an example of how to get the conversation started...

I know we haven't talked about he money problems much, and I want to make sure you know how I love you very much, and I know this might be a hard time for both of us.

But I want us to remember that we meant it when we said "for better or for worse," and thank goodness we have our health.

I want to make sure we have our love and that no matter what we stay close and not allow this financial problem to come between us in any way.

I want us to be able to help each other, bounce ideas off of each other and be able to speak without blaming each other.

So I feel we haven't really been able to sit and talk about this, and I just wanted to get started by hearing what you think we need to do.

Perhaps we should put everything on paper and talk about some ideas that each of us can work on or find different people to talk to about ideas to help us through this.

How do you know if a guy is the real man for you? II

In my last edition I ask a question, what does astrology say about you and your mate? Out of over 200 people that read the article, the few response I got, made me want to throw more light into the topic, But the reality is that, if you do not understand what astrology means by now, you are missing out something vital in your life.
Astrology is talking about your zodiac sign, as in; the calendar month your were born your birth day, each month in the calendar represent a particular zodiac sign. Starting from

· January 21 – February 18 (AQUARIUS)
· February 29 – March 20 (PISCES)
· March 21 – April 20 (ARIES)
· April 21 – May 21 (TAURUS)
· May 22 – June 21 (GEMINI)
· June 22 – July 23 (CANCER)
· July 24 – August 23 (LEO)
· August 24 – September 23 (VIRGO)
· September 24 – October 23 (LIBRA)
· October 24 – November 22 (SCORPIO)
· November 23 – December 21 (SAGITTARIUS)
· December – January 20 (CAPRICON)
Now I will not go into the detail story of how all these came about (if you want to know more about astrology, you can Google it out) but each zodiac category will tell you about your WORK FINANCE, FRIENDS and COMPANIONS including your PERSONALITY.

So when I ask that question, what does astrology say about you and your mate? I mean how compatible are you with someone from your past, present or future? Compatibility Report includes your LOVE RATING for romantic couples, singles and lovers, partners, dating, engaged or married. The rating is always between two people A and B Now astrology is to find out if they both have the ability to live together without problems, if the love between them matches each other.
Your Love Match (Compatibility) Report is the comparison of your basic birth chart, to the birth chart of the other person for compatibility in the areas of physical attraction, emotional connectedness, mental rapport, spiritual, psychological, telepathic, or past lives history. Are things fun? Or are they always serious between you? Do you bang heads and don’t seem to compromise in matters of money, raising of children, or can’t seem to feel each other’s needs?
You see we all are people with different attitude, characters and behavioral patens, Male and Female, Young and Old.
For us to live together in Pease and Harmony there must be a way of communication of thoughts and feelings from one person to another.
That is what ASTOLOGY is all about; Believe it or not it is real.
Love is like the sea, it’s a moving thing and it is different on every shore. I know you need somebody to make you happy, love you better and make you feel exactly the way you want. Let me know what you think about it, you can mail me personally on kayodefx@gmail.com

Is he or she the right person for you?

How do you know if a guy is the real man for you?
What does astrology say about you and your mate (or potential mate)? Find out with the Love Match Compatibility Tester! Use it to learn more about any type of relationship -- friendships, family ties, possible love interests, and more! Just send me your sign and the sign of someone special to my mail box, and gain valuable insight into how compatible the two of you really are!

Is he or she the right one for you?
Are you soul mates?
Do you feel you have a strong spiritual tie?
Is there a strong physical attraction, and are there mutual emotional feelings?
Is dating going to be it or is there more to this relationship?

Using your astrological birth charts from the date, time, and place of your birth is basis for your Love Match Report.
The technique called synastry compares your birth chart (birth chart, includes your Sun, Moon, Rising sign, etc) with that of your special love interest of anyone from your past, current, or potential future. Your "love signs", planets, houses - which are areas of life that you influence each other - is described, as well as the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.

Your Love Match Report is an excellent tool for those who want to know more about their relationship, need to make important decisions about whether or not they want to make a commitment for a long-term or even engage in a short romance with someone with whom you may feel an attraction for.
If you need to make a choice, who do you choose?
How do you know which one is right for you.
Get two Love Match Reports and compare more than two relationships, or even more than two, especially if you are actively dating for that special Love Match to come into your life. Chances are that you may have already met him or her.

Give yourself the best advantage and emotional investment into your love life and seek out someone who is best for you, according to what you are looking for in a relationship. Your Love Match Report describes this for you. mail me and find out more.

11 Things That Keep The Relationship Alive and Exciting.

Keep Your Partner Loving You

Here are seven ways to keep your partner loving for ever you no matter how long you have been together. Fail to do these things and you might find yourself alone again.

Always show him or her you really love them and let them see it in your smile. Be happy and your partner cannot fail to be happy too.

Never be always predictable and get into a daily routine, do something silly every day just to make your partner laugh with you.

Be spontanious, buy your loved one unexpected gifts, not only when you need to be forgiven or on a special ocassion.

Take the time to listen and show interest in whatever your partner has to say, even if you are not very interested in his or her passion. Try to share eachothers likes and dislikes as much as possible.

Let him watch his favourite sports program, while you find time to do something else for the duration and show eachother appreaciation for making time for what you both enjoy.
Take her to have her beauty treatments and pay for it yourself and let her know how gorgeous she looks with words and deeds.

Book both of you on the best vacation you can afford and enjoy every second you are together, at home as well as away relaxing and so in love with eachother.

Find things you both enjoy doing together apart from making love, although this is also important to a lasting relationship when it is kept exciting and enjoyable.

Always reassure eachother that neither of you will ever cheat so that complete trust can be built into your relationship, and keep your word always. There is never an excuse to cheat, being drunk is a cop out for wanting to try another.

Keep your sex life exciting and never rush things. Try reading about Tantric Sex and use some of the methods within the book.

Run her bath and place scented candles in the bathroom for her. And she might cook you a special meal or your favourite dish

Makeover Madness

Makeover madness, plastic surgery, and being happy with who you are.
I just saw something really sad.

I was flipping through channels, trying to see if there was anything on, and I landed on what I found out was MTV. The show was "I Want to Look Like Someone Famous", or something like that.

I've noticed that there has been an onslaught of such shows.
Everyday people going under the knife to look like someone else.

Not subtle little changes like hair coloring or whitening their smile, but drastic makeover changes like chin implants, nose jobs and complete body changes all in the course of a few weeks to look like someone else.

These are perfectly acceptable looking people wanting to look like someone famous.
They are so uncomfortable with who they are, with being in their own skin, that they are willing to put their lives and faces in danger for a makeover to "become" someone else.
I look at the stretch marks forming across my nine-month expectant-mother frame and think how with just a flick of a laser they could be gone.

I look at the wrinkles forming around my eyes and mouth and think how just a few injections of Botox could rid me of those nuisances.

But I realize what those marks are. Reminders of my life experiences!
I can point to which stretch marks are from Zach and which ones are from Selah, due to the different ways I've carried each. The wrinkles around my eyes and mouth are reminders of all the laughs and giggles I've had in my life.
I wouldn't change a one.

Look at your imperfections for what they are, YOURS. You are you, individual and beautiful.
I don't want to look like someone who is famous this year for their 15 minutes. Ten years from now, no one will know who they are, much less who you look like.

I don't want my children to think that their value is found in someone else's fame. They are loved for who they are. They are special for who they are. A makeover will not make them more special.

I heard it best put by the man himself, Fred Rogers. People are like fish. Everyone is fancy in their own way; some on the inside and some on the outside. You just need to figure out how you're fancy and know that no one can take that away from you, unless you let them.

10 Signs You Should Dump Him by New Year’s

Having doubts about your dude?

Read on to find out if you should give him the boot before New Year's.

1. When you ask to speak to him about moving in, he schedules the talk for June.

2. Each time after sex, he grabs a private notebook from his bag and scribbles something in it, giggling.

3. His friends call him by the nickname of Cheaty McGee.

4. He loves to touch you and kiss you and will do so just as soon as he powers up and finishes killing these level-four zombies. Die, video zombies, die!

5. His ring tone is "Baby Got Back."

6. The guy's elaborate excuse for not spending the holidays together includes training for an Ironman competition.

7. Mr. Reality still entertains the idea that he could be a "stripper choreographer."

8. He’s already written a scathing tell-all memoir of your relationship — and you’ve only been dating for two months.

9. He calls your mom "Mrs. Robinson" and stares at her way too intensely.

10. The big spender usually splurges and buys you awesome gifts, so it’d be a real shame to dump him before Christmas.

5 Times You Shouldn't Text Him

Firing off too many messages can kill a budding relationship

We tell you when to step away from the cell.

Casual electronic notes have become a huge part of dating, and experts speculate that texts have surpassed actual phone calls between many couples. So it's no wonder why you can find yourself with an itchy text-messaging trigger finger (or thumbs, rather) when in the throes of new love. But beware: There's such a thing as too much texting (what you might call TMT).

"Overdoing it can freak guys out," says relationship expert Arlene Krieger, PhD. "They feel pressured into sending an instantaneous response.

"There are several instances where texting can torpedo a relationship before it's barely gotten off the ground: After your first few dates.

It may be tempting to contact a guy after an amazing date, but resist the urge.

"Reaching out lessens the thrill of the chase for him," says psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of the upcoming book Love in 90 Days.

When you're drunk. Since phones don't come with Breathalyzers, it's up to you to stop yourself from sending a tipsy message — especially one that suggests you two meet up ASAP. "Being too available lets a guy know he has all the leverage," Krieger says.

When you're angry.

It's annoying when a guy flakes, but sending a "Why haven't you called me?!" inquiry makes you look massively insecure. Avoid angry texts once you're in a relationship too. "When it's in writing, you can't easily take it back," Kirschner says. It's even smart to ban bitchy humor, which can sound meaner than it is.When you're trying to be funny.

"When relayed nonverbally, sarcasm and joking can come off as aggressive," according to Kirschner. A dude could read a message like "OMG, you were out of control last night" literally, which makes you sound pissed when you were actually just fondly remembering his funny behavior.When you've already texted him that day.

Once you're in an ongoing relationship, you may be tempted to rely on texting as a regular form of communication, and there's nothing wrong with staying in touch that way sometimes. But electronic communication discourages phone conversations and one-on-one time. Also, guys like brief updates, not a blow-by-blow of your life.