At What Age Should A Man Get Married? - The Complete Nigerian Man!

At What Age Should A Man Get Married? - The Complete Nigerian Man!

Tips On How To Be A Good Kisser

How To French Kiss

I’m writing this post because I remember what it was like to be an adolescent and not have any idea how to french kiss. We’d all hear about but most of us had no idea what a french kis really was. Since I’m sure that I get a lot of younger readers on this blog I figured that a page on how to french kiss might be useful.

How To French Kiss – The Basics

What makes the French kiss different from any other kiss is that the French kiss has a sexual element to it. You would never kiss your aunt, uncle, brother or even a good friend this way. To want to french kiss someone you must be physically attracted to them. So what makes a French kiss a French kiss? One word: tongue.

To French kiss simply means that instead of your mouths being shut both partners open their mouths and let their tongues “play” with each other during the kiss. You probably have heard someone ask , “was there tongue?” Well that’s how to French kiss.  how to french kiss How To French Kiss

But knowing how to french kiss does not mean that you’ll be good at it. That’s a whole other story. In fact, when we say that someone is a “bad kisser” we usually mean that they do not know how to french kiss properly. Not that they don’t know how to kiss.

How To French Kiss -Some Tips

Knowing how to French kiss good is about technique. You do not want your mouth to be so far open that the other person feels like you’re trying to eat their face. You also do not want to thrash your tongue around like a water hose with a nozzle that’s stuck open. It’s really about gentleness or in some cases about being forceful in just the right amount.

French kisses can be very loving or extremely sexual. They’re usually a little of both. And there’s a couple of techniques that really work.

Always tilt your head.  Straight on french kissing just doesn’t work very well. Obviously your heads need to be tilted in opposite directions.

Always, always ,always, breathe through your nose!! Which brings up another very important tip, make sure your breath is fresh.  Unless of course you’ve both spent the last 4 hours tossing back a couple of beers and smoking cigars; then it probably won’t matter. But in most cases make sure your breath is fresh.

Always gently move your tongue into the other person’s mouth. Don’t try and lick their tonsils.  Just gently caress your tongue against the other person’s. Some people will tell you to avoid licking their teeth, but I actually like that. So I’m going to leave that your call.

If you want a french kiss to be very sexual, try sucking in your partner’s tongue a little bit. This drive’s men crazy. Drives me crazy too.

How To French Kiss – Final Thoughts

The best kissers are those that pay attention to how the person they are kissing kisses. The french kiss is no exception. You should change the way you French kiss depending on the person that you’re kissing. The best rule for how to French kiss is to kiss the way your partner kisses.

Communication in a Relationship

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style – trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I think you…”

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t work – go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with “You always …”

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you – especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, “you shouldn’t feel like that.”

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person’s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Summary

As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

Love is the flower you've got to let grow. Tell someone this Valentine

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
A. A. Milne

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.
Willa Cather

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Eva Gabor

Love is being stupid together.
Paul Valery

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Michel de Montaigne

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street.
W. H. Auden

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Ben Hecht

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.
Lucretius

To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever.
Henry Drummond

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
John Lennon

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
Samuel Lover

If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Maya Angelou

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

When love is not madness, it is not love.
Pedro Calderon de la Barca

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
Frank Morgan

Love is what you've been through with somebody.
James Thurber

Where there is love there is life.
Mohandas Gandhi

Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.
Zelda Fitzgerald

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.
Margaret Atwood

Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.
Andre Breton

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
Zora Neale Hurston

Love is metaphysical gravity.
R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
Victor Hugo

Online Dating Methodology

Hello my friends, it’s been a while since I have upload on this part of my blog life, sorry about that, I came across these hints, talking about “Online Dating” after reading it I think it’s quite OK to shear it out. Enjoy your reading  

   If you've ever tried online dating, and felt disappointed and distressed by it all - it doesn't
have to be that way.

We want to help you break online dating into small pieces that you can feel great doing them and
following through - so you can be successful each step of the way to the man of your dreams.

   Let's start here with one piece of the online dating puzzle - your "profile":

   Your dating site profile is the most important
tool you have to find love online (next to your
photo), and improving your profile can make a big
difference for you - fast.

   It's the "identity" you put forward to men on the dating site, it's what a man sees see when he
looks for the woman he wants - and it's all you've got to make a first impression and pull in the
proposals.

   Here's a quick guide to making this one section that most women practically ignore - stand out
from the crowd and work for you powerfully - the "what you like" section that's often in the

"sidebar":

   It doesn't seem important, when you're focused on writing a good "in your own words"
profile...and so you might just have filled it in without thinking about it - but what if a man
looks at that section FIRST?

   It's short and sweet - and it shows up in the
first place his eyes go to. If he wants a "Cliff's Notes" version of who you are to see if you have
anything in common (after he's decided that your picture attracts him) - he'll look at that first
and make a snap judgment about you that might be
hard to shake.

   So here are some guidelines to use this often overlooked feature on an online dating site to
your advantage:

   1. Complete all the sections of a dating site profile.
Seems obvious, doesn't it? But have you really paid attention to the seemingly "insignificant
questions you're supposed to "fill in"?

  What you don't want is for there to be "gaps." If sections remain unfilled, you can give the
impression of looking evasive and less than completely serious.

   The good news is that the bulk of the profile won't take long to complete. Even the most
demanding sites don't ask you to write more than three or four mini-compositions about yourself and your ideal date.

   The bulk of the profile on most sites is always
a series of checkboxes - the ones about your likes
and dislikes.

   Fill these sections in as accurately and as quickly as you can and move on - so you can feel a
sense of accomplishment for finishing it

   The checkboxes are pretty much like "shopping lists" - but fill them out, because a man may skip
over it at first, but he almost always goes back
to look it over after he's read your profile.

   Mostly, the checklists help the site's matching
engine - and they're meant for that. But most of
us can't help but look at checklists!

   The truth is, the fact that someone likes jazz
more than rock, or comedies more than
documentaries, doesn't really tell you whether
they're going to like you - or whether you're
going to like them - but you look at it anyway,
and sometimes even make snap decisions based on
them.

   Internet dating can bring all sorts of people
together. It can certainly match people up who are
looking for something very specific - and even a
little unusual.

   But when you begin looking for someone online,
you want your profile to be as INCLUSIVE as
possible.

   Once the emails come in, you can then start to
focus on the responding to the men you "don't find
unacceptable" (we've put it this way to encourage
you to be as "unpicky" at the beginning in your
"requirements" as you can).

   A good man can just slip by you because he
didn't fit into your "wants" - just the way you
can slip by him, too, if you're too stringent in
your qualifications.

   Instead...let the man IN PERSON - when you
finally meet him - determine how you think and
feel about him.

   There are so many "tricks" to online dating
that will help keep you "cool" and motivated -
that will save you time and frustration and
heartache.

   So - check out our "Attract The Hell Out of
Him! - Crack The Secret Code of Online Dating"
ebook to get so much information and guidance, and
quickly LEARN the tricks that can make all the
difference for you.

   "Online Dating" is filled with worksheets and
how-tos so you can really know the kind of man
you're truly looking for (and not just gravitate
to the same kind of man who always disappoints
you), choose your personal "name" for each dating
site, write a great "headline," and compose a
profile that will get you the man you want:

http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/online-dating/

   Online Dating can be the most fantastic thing
for you - or it can be a hard, sloggy road to
nowhere. It can get you the man you want - FAST -
or it can get you into the same dead-end non-
relationships over and over again.

   "Crack the Secret Code to Online Dating" will
lead you by the hand and give you "relationship"
advice, too - so you'll know how to handle each
step along the way to make the most out of your
online dating experience.

   We want you to be successful, right off, and we
want you to feel secure that you CAN be
successful! So try out our "Online Dating" Guide
and be sure to tell us your success story!

   Sincerely, The Editors at
LoveRomanceRelationship.com




LoveRomanceRelationship
P.O. Box 831, Culver City, CA 90232, USA