Wednesday, December 24, 2008

10 Signs You Should Dump Him by New Year’s


Having doubts about your dude?

Read on to find out if you should give him the boot before New Year's.


1. When you ask to speak to him about moving in, he schedules the talk for June.


2. Each time after sex, he grabs a private notebook from his bag and scribbles something in it, giggling.


3. His friends call him by the nickname of Cheaty McGee.


4. He loves to touch you and kiss you and will do so just as soon as he powers up and finishes killing these level-four zombies. Die, video zombies, die!


5. His ring tone is "Baby Got Back."


6. The guy's elaborate excuse for not spending the holidays together includes training for an Ironman competition.


7. Mr. Reality still entertains the idea that he could be a "stripper choreographer."


8. He’s already written a scathing tell-all memoir of your relationship — and you’ve only been dating for two months.


9. He calls your mom "Mrs. Robinson" and stares at her way too intensely.


10. The big spender usually splurges and buys you awesome gifts, so it’d be a real shame to dump him before Christmas.


Friday, December 19, 2008

5 Times You Shouldn't Text Him


Firing off too many messages can kill a budding relationship

We tell you when to step away from the cell.


Casual electronic notes have become a huge part of dating, and experts speculate that texts have surpassed actual phone calls between many couples. So it's no wonder why you can find yourself with an itchy text-messaging trigger finger (or thumbs, rather) when in the throes of new love. But beware: There's such a thing as too much texting (what you might call TMT).


"Overdoing it can freak guys out," says relationship expert Arlene Krieger, PhD. "They feel pressured into sending an instantaneous response.

"There are several instances where texting can torpedo a relationship before it's barely gotten off the ground: After your first few dates.

It may be tempting to contact a guy after an amazing date, but resist the urge.

"Reaching out lessens the thrill of the chase for him," says psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of the upcoming book Love in 90 Days.

When you're drunk. Since phones don't come with Breathalyzers, it's up to you to stop yourself from sending a tipsy message — especially one that suggests you two meet up ASAP. "Being too available lets a guy know he has all the leverage," Krieger says.


When you're angry.

It's annoying when a guy flakes, but sending a "Why haven't you called me?!" inquiry makes you look massively insecure. Avoid angry texts once you're in a relationship too. "When it's in writing, you can't easily take it back," Kirschner says. It's even smart to ban bitchy humor, which can sound meaner than it is.When you're trying to be funny.

"When relayed nonverbally, sarcasm and joking can come off as aggressive," according to Kirschner. A dude could read a message like "OMG, you were out of control last night" literally, which makes you sound pissed when you were actually just fondly remembering his funny behavior.When you've already texted him that day.


Once you're in an ongoing relationship, you may be tempted to rely on texting as a regular form of communication, and there's nothing wrong with staying in touch that way sometimes. But electronic communication discourages phone conversations and one-on-one time. Also, guys like brief updates, not a blow-by-blow of your life.