Communication in a Relationship

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style – trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I think you…”

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t work – go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person’s worth as a human being. “Avoid statements which begin with the words “You never …” or “I think you …”.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with “You always …”

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you – especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, “you shouldn’t feel like that.”

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person’s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Summary

As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

Love is the flower you've got to let grow. Tell someone this Valentine

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
A. A. Milne

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.
Willa Cather

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Eva Gabor

Love is being stupid together.
Paul Valery

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Michel de Montaigne

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street.
W. H. Auden

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Ben Hecht

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.
Lucretius

To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever.
Henry Drummond

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
John Lennon

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
Samuel Lover

If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Maya Angelou

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

When love is not madness, it is not love.
Pedro Calderon de la Barca

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
Frank Morgan

Love is what you've been through with somebody.
James Thurber

Where there is love there is life.
Mohandas Gandhi

Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.
Zelda Fitzgerald

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.
Margaret Atwood

Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.
Andre Breton

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
Zora Neale Hurston

Love is metaphysical gravity.
R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
Victor Hugo

Online Dating Methodology

Hello my friends, it’s been a while since I have upload on this part of my blog life, sorry about that, I came across these hints, talking about “Online Dating” after reading it I think it’s quite OK to shear it out. Enjoy your reading  

   If you've ever tried online dating, and felt disappointed and distressed by it all - it doesn't
have to be that way.

We want to help you break online dating into small pieces that you can feel great doing them and
following through - so you can be successful each step of the way to the man of your dreams.

   Let's start here with one piece of the online dating puzzle - your "profile":

   Your dating site profile is the most important
tool you have to find love online (next to your
photo), and improving your profile can make a big
difference for you - fast.

   It's the "identity" you put forward to men on the dating site, it's what a man sees see when he
looks for the woman he wants - and it's all you've got to make a first impression and pull in the
proposals.

   Here's a quick guide to making this one section that most women practically ignore - stand out
from the crowd and work for you powerfully - the "what you like" section that's often in the

"sidebar":

   It doesn't seem important, when you're focused on writing a good "in your own words"
profile...and so you might just have filled it in without thinking about it - but what if a man
looks at that section FIRST?

   It's short and sweet - and it shows up in the
first place his eyes go to. If he wants a "Cliff's Notes" version of who you are to see if you have
anything in common (after he's decided that your picture attracts him) - he'll look at that first
and make a snap judgment about you that might be
hard to shake.

   So here are some guidelines to use this often overlooked feature on an online dating site to
your advantage:

   1. Complete all the sections of a dating site profile.
Seems obvious, doesn't it? But have you really paid attention to the seemingly "insignificant
questions you're supposed to "fill in"?

  What you don't want is for there to be "gaps." If sections remain unfilled, you can give the
impression of looking evasive and less than completely serious.

   The good news is that the bulk of the profile won't take long to complete. Even the most
demanding sites don't ask you to write more than three or four mini-compositions about yourself and your ideal date.

   The bulk of the profile on most sites is always
a series of checkboxes - the ones about your likes
and dislikes.

   Fill these sections in as accurately and as quickly as you can and move on - so you can feel a
sense of accomplishment for finishing it

   The checkboxes are pretty much like "shopping lists" - but fill them out, because a man may skip
over it at first, but he almost always goes back
to look it over after he's read your profile.

   Mostly, the checklists help the site's matching
engine - and they're meant for that. But most of
us can't help but look at checklists!

   The truth is, the fact that someone likes jazz
more than rock, or comedies more than
documentaries, doesn't really tell you whether
they're going to like you - or whether you're
going to like them - but you look at it anyway,
and sometimes even make snap decisions based on
them.

   Internet dating can bring all sorts of people
together. It can certainly match people up who are
looking for something very specific - and even a
little unusual.

   But when you begin looking for someone online,
you want your profile to be as INCLUSIVE as
possible.

   Once the emails come in, you can then start to
focus on the responding to the men you "don't find
unacceptable" (we've put it this way to encourage
you to be as "unpicky" at the beginning in your
"requirements" as you can).

   A good man can just slip by you because he
didn't fit into your "wants" - just the way you
can slip by him, too, if you're too stringent in
your qualifications.

   Instead...let the man IN PERSON - when you
finally meet him - determine how you think and
feel about him.

   There are so many "tricks" to online dating
that will help keep you "cool" and motivated -
that will save you time and frustration and
heartache.

   So - check out our "Attract The Hell Out of
Him! - Crack The Secret Code of Online Dating"
ebook to get so much information and guidance, and
quickly LEARN the tricks that can make all the
difference for you.

   "Online Dating" is filled with worksheets and
how-tos so you can really know the kind of man
you're truly looking for (and not just gravitate
to the same kind of man who always disappoints
you), choose your personal "name" for each dating
site, write a great "headline," and compose a
profile that will get you the man you want:

http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/online-dating/

   Online Dating can be the most fantastic thing
for you - or it can be a hard, sloggy road to
nowhere. It can get you the man you want - FAST -
or it can get you into the same dead-end non-
relationships over and over again.

   "Crack the Secret Code to Online Dating" will
lead you by the hand and give you "relationship"
advice, too - so you'll know how to handle each
step along the way to make the most out of your
online dating experience.

   We want you to be successful, right off, and we
want you to feel secure that you CAN be
successful! So try out our "Online Dating" Guide
and be sure to tell us your success story!

   Sincerely, The Editors at
LoveRomanceRelationship.com




LoveRomanceRelationship
P.O. Box 831, Culver City, CA 90232, USA

break online dating into small pieces

Hello my friends, it’s been a while since I have upload on this part of my blog life, sorry about that, I came across these hints, talking about “Online Dating” after reading it I think it’s quite OK to shear it out. Enjoy your reading 

 

If you've ever tried online dating, and felt
disappointed and distressed by it all - it doesn't
have to be that way.

   We want to help you break online dating into
small pieces that you can feel great doing them and
following through - so you can be successful each
step of the way to the man of your dreams.

   Let's start here with one piece of the online
dating puzzle - your "profile":

   Your dating site profile is the most important
tool you have to find love online (next to your
photo), and improving your profile can make a big
difference for you - fast.

   It's the "identity" you put forward to men on
the dating site, it's what a man sees see when he
looks for the woman he wants - and it's all you've
got to make a first impression and pull in the
proposals.

   Here's a quick guide to making this one section
that most women practically ignore - stand out
from the crowd and work for you powerfully - the
"what you like" section that's often in the

"sidebar":

   It doesn't seem important, when you're focused
on writing a good "in your own words"
profile...and so you might just have filled it in
without thinking about it - but what if a man
looks at that section FIRST?

   It's short and sweet - and it shows up in the
first place his eyes go to. If he wants a "Cliff's
Notes" version of who you are to see if you have
anything in common (after he's decided that your
picture attracts him) - he'll look at that first
and make a snap judgment about you that might be
hard to shake.

   So here are some guidelines to use this often

overlooked feature on an online dating site to
your advantage:

   1. Complete all the sections of a dating site
profile.

   Seems obvious, doesn't it? But have you really
paid attention to the seemingly "insignificant
questions you're supposed to "fill in"?

   What you don't want is for there to be "gaps."
If sections remain unfilled, you can give the
impression of looking evasive and less than
completely serious.

   The good news is that the bulk of the profile
won't take long to complete. Even the most
demanding sites don't ask you to write more than
three or four mini-compositions about yourself and
your ideal date.

   The bulk of the profile on most sites is always
a series of checkboxes - the ones about your likes
and dislikes.

   Fill these sections in as accurately and as
quickly as you can and move on - so you can feel a
sense of accomplishment for finishing it

   The checkboxes are pretty much like "shopping
lists" - but fill them out, because a man may skip
over it at first, but he almost always goes back
to look it over after he's read your profile.

   Mostly, the checklists help the site's matching
engine - and they're meant for that. But most of
us can't help but look at checklists!

   The truth is, the fact that someone likes jazz
more than rock, or comedies more than
documentaries, doesn't really tell you whether
they're going to like you - or whether you're
going to like them - but you look at it anyway,
and sometimes even make snap decisions based on
them.

   Internet dating can bring all sorts of people
together. It can certainly match people up who are
looking for something very specific - and even a
little unusual.

   But when you begin looking for someone online,
you want your profile to be as INCLUSIVE as
possible.

   Once the emails come in, you can then start to
focus on the responding to the men you "don't find
unacceptable" (we've put it this way to encourage
you to be as "unpicky" at the beginning in your
"requirements" as you can).

   A good man can just slip by you because he
didn't fit into your "wants" - just the way you
can slip by him, too, if you're too stringent in
your qualifications.

   Instead...let the man IN PERSON - when you
finally meet him - determine how you think and
feel about him.

   There are so many "tricks" to online dating
that will help keep you "cool" and motivated -
that will save you time and frustration and
heartache.

   So - check out our "Attract The Hell Out of
Him! - Crack The Secret Code of Online Dating"
ebook to get so much information and guidance, and
quickly LEARN the tricks that can make all the
difference for you.

   "Online Dating" is filled with worksheets and
how-tos so you can really know the kind of man
you're truly looking for (and not just gravitate
to the same kind of man who always disappoints
you), choose your personal "name" for each dating
site, write a great "headline," and compose a
profile that will get you the man you want:

http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/online-dating/

   Online Dating can be the most fantastic thing
for you - or it can be a hard, sloggy road to
nowhere. It can get you the man you want - FAST -
or it can get you into the same dead-end non-
relationships over and over again.

   "Crack the Secret Code to Online Dating" will
lead you by the hand and give you "relationship"
advice, too - so you'll know how to handle each
step along the way to make the most out of your
online dating experience.

   We want you to be successful, right off, and we
want you to feel secure that you CAN be
successful! So try out our "Online Dating" Guide
and be sure to tell us your success story!

   Sincerely, The Editors at
LoveRomanceRelationship.com




LoveRomanceRelationship
P.O. Box 831, Culver City, CA 90232, USA

What is "True Love"?

  How will you recognize it when it comes to you?

   Is true love what you see at a wedding, where

two people come together to declare their feelings

for each other before friends and family? Does a

wedding necessarily mean "true love"?

   What's the difference between what we might

think is "true love" and - fantasy?

   If you look at statistics, so many marriages

fall apart and dissolve, it makes you wonder.  It

makes you ask: Was true love ever there from the

beginning? Or did it die? And...if it wasn't there

- What makes us think it was? And if it WAS

there...How did it die?

   If you're like most women, you tend to get

caught up in your imagination.

   Have you ever experienced wanting love SO badly

that when a man comes along who kind of fits the

bill, you jumped all over him, wedding bells

ringing loudly in your ears?

   And then, what felt like true love fell apart -

like the "bubble burst"? "Reality" set in, and all

you felt was pain? And sometimes humiliation

and a whole round of blaming youself?

   Is this, then, IMAGINARY "love"?

   We as individuals can also tend to get caught

up in "stuff" - our work, our children and

hobbies, and our partners suffer as a result.

   When this happens to you, and your man suddenly

(or maybe you just notice it's been like this for

years...) feels like a roommate, a friend, some

distant person you once knew, things can just

plunge downhill.

   The horrible thing that can happen with this is

"cheating," where you or your man seek "comfort"

and sex elsewhere.  And this can then damage your

relationship so badly that saving it becomes a

monumental challenge.

   Or - maybe the excitement and connection just

withered and died from neglect.

   If you still have feelings for your man, you

might just become more and more sad, feel more

and more hopeless, and try everything you can to

"fix" things in ways that don't work - which makes

you feel even worse.

   How can you prevent this from happening to you?

If you start out with what feels like "true love"

- how can you keep it going?

   And if it feels like love now, but then it

fades...what can you do to bring the love back -

even if you've decided now that there never WAS

such a thing as "true love" - only the love you

have, and want back?

   When love has come to you, people say there is

a "knowing," a profound feeling of having "come

home."

   And yet, as it is for so many women - that

could just be your old subconscious patterns

driving you to the actually "wrong" man yet again.

It could be your hormones clouding your judgment

and missing "red flags."

   It could be a superficial chemistry instead of

a deeply rooted emotional, mental and spiritual

connection.

   Whatever you're starting with, it needs time to

grow. You and he need time to grow together - to

be sure that you didn't "create" the relationship

out of need and desperation, or out of your hopes

and wishes and imagination.

   You want to be sure that you haven't created an

illusion that will backfire on you.

   And the challenging thing is this: No matter

WHAT is actually going to happen to your

relationship - no matter WHAT you discover about

you or him that can either bring you closer

together or send you further apart - you still

have to TEND to the relationship as it is.

   Regardless of whether or not he's "the One,"

you must PRACTICE love. You must, as so many

experts say, tend to yourself, feed yourself,

water yourself, nourish yourself - and let all

that love you create in yourself radiate out to

him - so that he feels tended, fed, watered,

nourished and loved just by being WITH you.

   Relationships aren't supposed to be HARD. It's

not the RELATIONSHIP that requires the hard work.

THAT'S the part that's EASY!

   When you love yourself - you naturally love

your man.  But that's the challenging part -

working with  yourself, overcoming your fears of

intimacy and really getting close and emotionally

raw with a man.

   Overcoming your fears of rejection and

abandonment, the most common ones almost all

women have deep inside.

   These fears can seriously interfere with the

love you feel, the love you express, and the love

between you and a man.

   You may unconsciously push him away to avoid

the pain that you're afraid is "inevitable," only

to be faced with the pain you were trying to

avoid.

   Relationships do need attention though. As you

quietly work on yourself, you also need to BE

there for your man and for your relationship:

   True love then is what?

   It could mean different things to different

people.

   Most people agree that romantic love is an

ever-deepening emotional, physical, mental and

spiritual connection..

   Yes, it starts with "chemistry" and a match-up

that no-one can predict or define - that only YOU

can feel.

   But then the connection - the bond - has to be

forged and strengthened moment by moment, day by

day - through respect, touch, feeling, words, and

our willingness to love.

   The kind of intimate love - that means going

deep in an emotional and physical and spiritual

way with a man you want to build a relationship

with is Tinque's area of expertise. You'll want to

get her free newsletters and her free report on

attraction and how to create it right here:

http://www.LoveRomanceRelationship.com/sex-and-heart-free-report-2/

   Here's to love for you!

   Sincerely, The Editors at

http://www.LoveRomanceRelationship.com

What to Do If you Happen to Fall in Love With Two Men at the Same Time

if you are finding yourself torn between two men, this can be a very tough time for you. You will have a lot of questions that you are going to have to ask yourself and take the time to carefully sort through them to figure out what is right for you. This is going to be something that you will have to address because it is not a healthy relationship to have.

You will have to decide if what you are doing is good for you. Is it possible for you to have a healthy and loving relationship with two men at the same time? Are you going to be able to choose one over the other? These are things that you have to think about and then you have to think about them some more. You can be in love with two men at one time, but it is not something that you can act upon without getting yourself hurt.

Top reasons why we can fall in love with two people at the same time

It is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time. When you find that you are having feelings for two people at the same time, this can be a very difficult time. You may be having some feelings of love in the same way for these two people. This is going to be something that you will have to lay out on the table in front of you so that you can see where your feelings are coming from.

It is possible to be in a loving relationship and still find yourself having feelings for someone else. This is completely normal and it may just be temporary. Maybe this other person has done something nice for you or has shown you some kind of interest for one reason or another. This may trigger some emotional feelings towards this person and you may not understand why or how you can stop them.
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There may be two people that are so very different from each other but for some reason they both have caught your attention and you like them for separate reasons. This is possible and you will have to come to terms with which one is going to be better for you. You must think about your feelings for both people and why you are having these feelings.

How do I determine which one is the right mate for me?

You may wander how you are ever going to decide between the two people. You will have to figure out which person is right for you. This will take a lot of thinking on your part. You will have to figure out what it is you want to have in life. What type of life do you want and which person will be better for you. You will have to spend some time with both of the people so that you can better determine which person you have more of a connection with.

Attraction is the main reason why people want to be together. They may have some sort of physical or emotional attraction for the other person. When this is the case, you have to dig down deeper and find out if there is another reason why you are so infatuated with this person. You will need to spend time together talking and finding out about one another so that you can better determine who is going to be best for you.

How do I make a wise decision without hurting both of them?

If you think that it is best to be open with both of the people that you are attracted to, you may find that this will end both relationships. Some may not take the news that you are in love with two people very well and they may decide to make the decision for you by ending it. If this is the case, you may have some relief knowing that the problem has now been solved and even though it is over, you may feel a little more relieved. This feeling may be one that you have anticipated for a long time.

There are some people that just decide it is impossible to choose between the two and it is a wise choice to let them both go. This is going to be a hard decision to make; however, in some cases, it is the only possible outcome. You cannot string someone along and make him or her wait for you because you cannot make up your mind. You may have a strong connection with both partners, but you know that it is wrong and you have to do the right thing.

The main thing that you need to remember is that you have to do what is best for you. It is important to make sure that you have your best interest in mind. You need to put yourself ahead of anyone else so that you can

Love and Relationships Never End

Getting your relationship back together is a daunting task; especially when getting your ex back on the same platform where the two of you have shared many joys and sorrows together.
People who have lost their better half are significant.

Fortunately, the chances of winning back the lost love is equally significant. All you need is legitimate advice from an unbiased source as to how you can get your ex back. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix solution available as human emotions are involved. Each situation differs as everyone has different backgrounds, unique circumstances and varying reasons for breaking up.

If you regret your decision and truly want your ex back the first thing you need to do is dump the negative feelings from your heart and mind that have caused the undesired separation. Try to rejuvenate your mind and soul by thinking about the many good memories the two of you have shared with each other. Always remember evil will get bigger with time if you nurture it.

Having said that, you must look at some common reasons break ups occur. To get your boy friend-girl friend back after a break up, self reflection may be necessary. If you choose to find fault in your partner, know there is little hope for the future. Rest assured it won't work and it's you who is going to be the loser. True love is invaluable, something you do not want to throw away because of stubbornness.

However, by looking within yourself you may find that even you are to blame for some reason or another. This is what will make a rekindled relationship possible. With that, leaving the past behind and going for reconciliation may be the better option. If you regret the actions of the past and want to take the knife out of your heart , find a fool proof guide of getting him/her back and live a happy life.
The mere fact that you are reading this article speaks volumes toward your desire to get your better half back. This in itself is a terrific move! Regardless of what your reasoning may be for wanting to get back with your ex, there are some steps that you will want to take to win them back.
Last but not the least, it is vital for you to be honest with yourself and admit your fault(may be) without hesitation. No matter how big your ego may be, it is not worth allowing it to get in the way of rekindling a relationship. If you truly miss him or her, its time to put your guard down now. Resolve your misunderstandings and work toward finding peace and happiness again.

The past is not worth fighting over as it will get you nowhere. The easiest way to win in argument is to admit your mistakes and move on. No matter how hard it may be, the end result of winning back your ex will be far greater than the winning an argument. While these tips can help you get on the right track, it is up to you to put them into action.

While I am no psychiatrist by any means, the tips listed above have worked for a vast amount of couples looking to win back their ex. If you are looking for a solution to a problem, you must first identify the problem and the solutions will follow. How you apply the solutions will determine what happens in the future.

About the Author

Larry D. Amerson is freelance article writer, has written numerous articles on the subject of relationship and marriage.Many of his articles are published in ezzine.com